The Marriage Saver

Written by: Doug Bierl

Reflecting back on my current and first marriages, as well as those of families, friends, and others, I am convinced that there is one thing that saves marriages – intimacy with Jesus. He is the key to a thriving marriage and to overcoming struggles.

When we build the foundation of our life and marriage on Jesus, we can withstand the storms. (See Matthew 7:24-27) Jesus is a life giver and a lifesaver as we:

• Rest in his love for us, regardless of our circumstances.

• Let his love fill our hearts so that we can better love ourselves and others.

• Let him shape us into the person and husband/wife he has created us to be.

• Ask him to help us to love our spouse in ways our spouse needs, regardless of how our spouse responds. He gives us strength to keep giving love.

• Trust him with our spouse and our marriage, rather than trying to control them.

• Look to him for strength during difficult times.

• Ask for his help in putting aside our selfishness.

This requires of us above all else to seek intimacy with Jesus continually. It’s the first relationship we must work on to keep it healthy. Building and maintaining intimacy with Jesus is active, takes work, and is not passive.

If you seek a better marriage, start there. Intimacy in your marriage will grow as you draw closer to Jesus and his love fills you. You will become a better spouse and your spouse will (eventually) notice the difference. As the two of you seek intimacy with Jesus first individually you will draw close to each other. When you come together with that foundation, your marriage will be indestructible as you keep your eyes on Jesus, then each other.